What Larxene Really Does in Her Spare Time
by LadyMarz1
Summary: Larxene has going going out for days and days at a time. Axel and Demyx knows she's up to something... but are they really prepared to find out what she was doing? [One shot]


Summary: Larxene has going going out for days and days at a time. Axel and Demyx knows she's up to something... but is he really prepared to find out what she was doing?

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the Nobodies... but if I did... but I don't...(

Author's Notes: This was a story done by me and my best friend, KershaFangs! We also made alots of stories together and she is writing a Rp of Naruto right now that I did with her.

P.S. I'm Yamanaka Ino!

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"Uh... I'm going to go now..." Larxene said a bit uneasy as she inch towards the door.

"To do what... exactly?" Axel said questionly.

"None of your Goddamn business! Sheesh, can I have, like just a few moments to myself, when I'm not fighting a hormonal and, possiblity, sexual confused teenage boy or dealing with the idiots here? Like, I just want a few minutes to myself! And, like, you don't wanna respect me!" Larxene screaming, then screeching, and finally whining in a unbelievely high voice. She slammed the door and ran as fast as she could.

"Damn PMS-ing bitch..."

Axel actually asked her because for the past few months Larxene has been leaving the World That Never Was and wouldn't come back for quite a few days. One time, Larxene actually came back with a quite, without a better word, revealing outfit. Zexion thought that Larxene was a hooker. The Organization did not get rid of the theory. But still, Axel and the other wanted to know what was going on, and besides... without Larxene, they couldn't get the right signal for their DirecTV. (1)

Axel had to know what was going on. He was missing his soap operas! He needed to find out if Sharon was going to marry Rick or his best friend, Darryl, who was really his evil twin robot! Yet he couldn't do this alone... he needed help... but not just any help... he had to seek out the wisest of them all for this task...

"ROXAS! ROXAS!"

Axel barged into Roxas' room and interrupted his game of DDR.

"What? What could be so important that you would interrupt me playing my DDR game, Axel?" Roxas screamed.

"Wait... you were playing DDR? Well then never mind. I see you're really busy!" And with that, Axel went off to see if anyone else would help him. Whocould help Axel now? King Mickey? No... Aladin? No... Mushu? No... Dora the Explorer? No... Michael Jackson? No... Johnny Depp? No... Demyx? Yeah! That's it!

"DEMYX! DEMYX!"

Axel ran into Demyx's room while he was reading his sitar a bedtime story. "And then all the guitars and all the sitars lived happily ever after...The end... oh hey Axel! Shh... Lil' Demyx just went to sleep." Demyx led Axel out of his room and quietly shut the door.

"O..k..." Axel said slowly, his eye twitching. "Wanna help me spy on Larxene to see where she has been going all this time and to find out if she is really a hooker?" Axel added with Chibi Puppy Eyes of Doom. (There! You fangirls get your five seconds of Axel-ness goody..)

"Ok! I'll get a video camera to tape what we find too!" Demyx ran into and out his room with a video camera with night-vision lens, and a electrical detector, you know, like a metal detector but with eletricaty cuz' you never know...

"Alright now all we need to do is find Larxene..." Axel went outside where he last saw Larxene. She still hadn't left The World That Never Was, Axel was pretty sure she was too busy destorying Marluxia's garden to leave just yet. Luckily she didn't spot Axel or Demyx yet.

"Get down!" Axel grabbed Demyx and was watching Larxene as she stomped out a few rose bushes and summoned lightining to burn other parts of the garden.

"What's going on, Axel?" Axel leaned on the building that he was hiding behind. "We gotta keep out of Larxene's sight. If she finds us then she'll kills us or she will nag us to death.. and then kill us!" Axel looked behind him but didn't see Demyx.

"HEY LARXENE! ARE YOU A HOOKER!"

"You idiot!" Axel grabbed Demyx before Larxene could look over where he was. "Huh... I could have swore that I heard someone... nah! And this is for the time you gave me daisies for my birthday! I'm allergic to daisies and you know it Marluxia!" Larxene continue her murderious rampage of Marluxia's garden, torching every plant that was still alive. Then she opened a portal and walked through it.

"Woah... that was close! Demyx, you idiot, you don't go around yelling to people, 'Are you a hooker?'. Now quick, let's go through that portal before it closes!" Axel ran for the portal, Demyx hesitate entering before questioning, "I don't?"

**Somewhere else...**

Axel looked around at his surroundings. "Woah, where are we!" The streets were filled with cars and loud blaring sounds, sauvy looking people walked down the street and there was a giant sign that read 'Welcome to Los Angelos!' hanged aboved.

"I don't know, Axel, but there's Larxene!"

Larxene looked left to right, crossed a street and make a few turns at some interways with Axel and Demyx hot on her trail. Demyx looked into his camera and narrated what was happening to the camera. "I've been trail the elusive eletric mouse for many minutes now... she have been trying to shaking me off her tail but I'm still following her strong!"

"Demyx!" Axel yelled.

"Oh no! The fire snake has gotten mad! Ah Crikey! He got me! I'll fight him off! Dance, Water, Dance!"

"Demyx! You idiot! Stop with your stupid camera show and look around! We're here!" Axel took off his coat and rung out the water. Demyx looked and saw Larxene knock a few times at a door. "Oh you're right!"

A person slightly opened the door and gruffly said, "What's the password?"

Larxene looked around a bit and whispered, "Whatever, Whenever."

The guy opened the door and Larxene went in. Luckily, Axel was able to pick up on the password. He and Demyx walked over to the door and knocked too. The same guy asked them for the password. "Whatever, Whenever." He let Demyx and Axel in. Axel looked at the place. There were lots of girls getting dressed in small outfits and putting on make-up, some were rehersing some sort of dance moves and others looked really nervous. Oh dear God, Larxene was a hooker! Hey, where was Larxene? Axel walked toward the mob of people trying to get ready, then he saw a flash of light, blond hair. "Larxene!"

As soon as he was able to get full view of her, some big security guard block his way. "All questions and autographs are for AFTER the show!" Axel backed down. 'Well I guess I'm staying for the show...' Axel found Demyx talking with some of the girls and laughing with them. "Demyx, we gotta go!" Axel called.

The girls groaned. "Please don't take away Demy!"

"Don't worry girls! I'll be staying for the show!" The girls sighed and giggled as Axel dragged Demyx away. 'How can an idiot like him always get the girls?' After some confususion, Axel and Demyx found their way to the stage. Some sort of music started playing and some of the girls flirting with Demyx starting dancing on stage. A loud Jamacian like voice started singing:

_Ladies up in here tonight  
No fighting, no fighting  
We got the refugees up in here  
No fighting, no fighting_

_Shakira, Shakira_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish  
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa  
Shakira, Shakira_

Needless to say Axel and Demyx were abit surpise, but not as much as they saw their Larxene in a long, dirty blond with brown highlights wig started dancing and singing:

_Oh baby when you talk like that  
You make a woman go mad  
So be wise and keep on  
Reading the signs of my body_

_And I'm on tonight  
You know my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
All the attraction, the tension  
Don't you see baby, this is perfection_

Axel just knew it was Larxene. Larxene was his friend, he shared a bond between Nobodies with her and could find her face anywhere. Plus one of her light blond antenne-like bangs were hanging out of the wig. The Jamacian man started singing again, while dancing very close to Larxene in her low riders jeans and small shirt completely showing her belly. This started making Axel angry.

_Hey Girl, I can see your body moving  
And it's driving me crazy  
And I didn't have the slightest idea  
Until I saw you dancing_

_And when you walk up on the dance floor  
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move  
your body, girl  
And everything so unexpected - the way  
you right and left it  
So you can keep on taking it_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish  
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa_

_  
Shakira, Shakira_

Shakira/Larxene took the mic and sang:

_Oh baby when you talk like that  
You make a woman go mad  
So be wise and keep on  
Reading the signs of my body_

_And I'm on tonight  
You know my hips don't lie  
And I am starting to feel you boy  
Come on let's go, real slow  
Don't you see baby asi es perfecto_

_Oh I know I am on tonight my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
All the attraction, the tension  
Don't you see baby, this is perfection  
Shakira, Shakira_

_Oh boy, I can see your body moving  
Half animal, half man  
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing  
But you see to have a plan  
My will and self restraint  
Have come to fail now, fail now  
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so  
you know  
That's a bit too hard to explain_

Axel grumbled at the man as he danced closely to Larxene while she slowly, yet sexly, moved her body. Demyx was just smiling as he enjoyed the song. Larxene and the man took a bit of a duet part as they sang:

_Baila en la calle de noche  
Baila en la calle de dia  
Baila en la calle de noche  
Baila en la calle de dia_

The man sang a solo then before holding Larxene's waist as she shook her hips very amazingly. Axel was probably smoking from all the anger build withen him.

_I never really knew that she could dance like this  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish  
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa  
Shakira, Shakira  
Larxene sang her solo then.  
Oh baby when you talk like that  
You know you got me hypnotized  
So be wise and keep on  
Reading the signs of my body_

The man took the mic and sang as Larxene just slowly danced with the girls, taking the lead of them all.

_Señorita, feel the conga, let me see you  
move like you come from Colombia_

_Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi, say it!  
Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi_

_Yeah_

_She's so sexy every man's fantasy  
a refugee like me back with the Fugees  
from a 3rd world country  
I go back like when 'pac carried crates for  
Humpty Humpty  
I need a whole club dizzy  
Why the CIA wanna watch us?  
Colombians and Haitians  
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction  
No more we do snatch ropes  
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats_

Larxene sang even more loudly this time as her sung the last parts of the  
song.

_I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel you boy  
Come on let's go, real slow  
Baby, like this is perfecto_

_Oh, you know I'm on tonight and my  
hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
The attraction, the tension  
Baby, like this is perfection_

The man finished off the song with: _No fighting, No fighting!_

Larxene ran off stage with a smile on her face. While getting 'Congrats!' from her agents and fellow dancers, she saw Axel walk up to her with a slightly annoyed look on his face while Demyx held a camera recording her. Before Axel can even ask what that whole dancing and singing thing was about, Larxene said innocently,"Ah shoot! I guess ya'll caught me!"

Axel crossed his arm and said, "Damn straight! Now what the hell is all this you dancing and shaking and that Jamacian guy touching you and..."

Larxene pouted. "Ok first of all that guy was Wyclef Jean, and all he does is sing with me during that song. And second, about my singing..." Larxene then made a run for it. Axel still caught up to her while a gasping Demyx trudged back. "Alright now! What is all this singing about?"

Larxene sighed, defeat. "Ok I'll tell you then... My other is Shakira.. when she turned into a heartless, the agents had to get another person to fill in for her. She had three concerts coming up! So when they found me, Shakira's Nobody, they offered me a contract deal. Even through I was loyal to the Organization I had to tell them my Other's name was Relena or else they may had found out about Shakira and besides... I HAD to accept the contract, there was an ice cube's chance in hell I was going to stay with those idiots there all day long! Ecspecially Demyx!

"Uhh... Larxene you know I'm right here..." Demyx whimpered.

"Yes... unfortunately...", Larxene rolled her eyes. "Well back to the story! I accepted the contract and now for every couple of days or so, I got to go on tour and sing Shakira's songs while making millions every single day!" Axel and Demyx blinked.

"Ok... now there is only one question left! How did Shakira turn into a heartless?"

"Ehh... she was beat by Celine Deon at the Music Choice Awards..."

"Wow... That's enough to make anyone go to the dark side!"

Larxene, Axel, and Demyx then went to The World That Never Was and looked overally at what happened after:

Axel and Demyx found out where Larxene was really going all that time, they proved to Zexion that Larxene wasn't a hooker, but was still damn well close, and Demyx showed the entire Organization the video of Larxene as Shakira. Larxene then kicked his ass and broke his sitar, Demyx cried for many days mourning the death of Lil' Demyx, and Axel and Larxene got married and had four children!... two children?... a kitten?... Don't kill me! And Roxas got a full combo on DDR:)

The end! But wait... aren't we forgetting something?  
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Marluxia walked outside happily with a trovel and bucket in hand with thoughts of how beautiful his garden was going to be. He was humming a happy tune when he saw...

"NNNNOOOOOOOO! My flowers! My precious flowers! Whyyyyyy?"

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Nahhh... THE END!  
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(1) If you think about Larxene's powers long enough, you'll get that joke.

Finally! This took me so long to type. Credits go to KershaFangs for being my buddy and actually typing this! But it's my idea! MINES! Review! Remember,reviews will help Larxene make top 5 hit record songs! It will also improve Roxas' combos on DDR! Review!


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